Michelle's Take
So Bad4 e-mailed me in late May, explaining that blog reader had mentioned a guy for me.
I replied that I was busy.
The next e-mail in that thread was a month later. Late June. Just wanted to get that out of the way. (That was when I told her that the whole internetness of it all weirded me out, but I wasn't taking it off the table.)
Anyway, Mysterious Stranger, being the fine gentleman that he is, didn't want to contact me directly. He understood that it would creep me out. Smart man.
So everything he wrote, Bad4 simply clicked "forward" and directed my way. He gave me the spiel I've heard a million times. "He's such a nice guy..." Didn't want to believe it.
So I kinda gave them the run-around. When I was busy, I told them so. Otherwise I hemmed and hawed. I realized that the guys I dated within those months were no different than any other I had dated, and what have I got to lose?
Finally, after Mysterious Stranger volunteered his phone number, (he wouldn't ask me for mine), and Bad4 told me I was a jerk, I figured I'd call Mysterious Stranger.
MS was beyond a mensch. I didn't think it was possible. A mensch? From the internet? He described his friend, but like I said, how many guys are described as "soo nice" and end up being jerks? One need not look further than my own dating record.
What impressed me, though, was MS himself. A really really nice, honest, fine young man. I figured a guy like this must keep good friends. Based on my conversation with MS, (and being called a jerk by Bad4,) I decided to give it a shot.
The guy on the other side of this, by the way, needed his fair share of arm-twisting himself, which MS apparently didn't tell Bad4.
He heard I was from Brooklyn, and was ready to eliminate me right then and there. Little did he know that only earned him some points on my book...
The Rumors Are True
Now, since my favorite fellow blogger BadForShidduchim so kindly linked to me, I feel like I should update my blog a little.
Because nobody's really thinking about the people in Deal anymore.
As I wrote in the comments of her blog, I bli neder plan to contribute a "Michelle's Take," which will also be available for all your eyes on this blog...
But in the meantime, I want to thank Mysterious Stranger and Bad4 for being persistent, but not annoying.
So much to say....later, y'all!
Don't Cry Anti-Semitism
Part I Last Thursday presented a terrible chillul Hashem. A number of Orthodox Jews, as well as rabbis, in the Hasidic and Sephardic communities were arrested in N.J. on money laundering to the tune of $3 million.
There were a number of scandals involved, including the illegal sale of kidneys, reportedly buying them for $10,000 and selling them for $160,000.
New Jersey lawmakers were also charged for accepting bribes.
The sad part is that none of this shocked me.
It was embarrassing to watch footage of frum people hiding their faces in their hats, peyos neatly tucked behind their ears, etc.
I have a feeling that Rabbi Kassin was a victim of other people's greed, and was uninformed about the illegal activity.
People have been crying anti-Semitism. That Obama is behind this. What a load. First of all, the investigation began when Bush was in office. Second, these people were arrested because they allegedly did something wrong.
Not because they are Jewish. Part II "What about Pidyon Shvuyim?" People ask.
My question is whether it is relavent for people who have so greviously violated halacha as well as American law.
These people are imprisoned for a reason.
The very same Torah that tells us that we must redeem prisoners
also tells us not to steal, not to trick people, and to follow the laws of the land (all of which they have allegedly violated).
I understand that "two wrongs don't make a right." Just because they violated the Torah, it doesn't mean that we have to by not redeeming them.
But when the concept of Pidyon Shvuyim originated, I doubt that this was an example of a case in which we should do whatever's in our power to release prisoners.
I would say Gilad Shalit is a much more relavent example.
Keep Your Eyes Peeled
I've been asked a buncha times why I haven't updated my blog.
In fact, I have a draft about why I haven't.
Maybe I'll post that one day.
In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for my next post ... soon IY"H!
Unrealistic Expectations?
Big Bro #2 and I were talking on Shabbos when he mentioned a conversation that took place in shul. "During davening? I never talk in shul," I said, perhaps expressing disbelief in the fact that my very own big bro would have the audacity to talk in shul.
"Well, if you were there every day, you would be talking, too," he replied. This exchange reminded me of a conversation I'd had with some friends a while back, regarding expectations when it comes to husbands.
While they thought missing minyan once in a while was inexcusable, I wanted to agree with them whole-heartedly, but I found it difficult. They even backed it up with anecdotal evidence of guys who will do all but put their lives on the line to attend a minyan.
Granted, davening with a minyan is not my mitzvah. So perhaps it could be easy to demand that of someone else.
"It's
their mitzvah, they better be darn sure to make their way to shul every day, three times a day!" One friend said. I repeat. I wanted to agree with her.
But I thought about it honestly. If it were
my mitzvah, would I be there on time every day knowing that I have to be at work at 9? Would I jump out of my office on a rainy day to run into another building for a minyan in Manhattan? Or would I just daven b'yechidus?
If I were there three times a day every day since age 13, would I treat it with the same reverence I do the few times I go to shul annually? Can I guarantee that I wouldn't consider shul a drudgery at a certain point? Nobody knows for sure.
If that's the case, do I have a right to demand more from a potential spouse?
Pesach Prices
As many of you know, Assemblyman Dov Hikind has been advocating
price regulation this Pesach, due to the economic state.
Every year, we whine about the price increases that come with Pesach; many of which never seem to go away. I remember writing a piece inquiring about the inflated meat prices.
People suggest that the butchers sell Kosher L'Pesach meats in advance, not for the Martha Stewart-types whose kitchens are pesachdik two days after Purim, but to enhance their own bottom lines.
This year, finally, things are different. We are no longer tolerating price gauging.
Pesach is expensive regardless. Even with stable prices, Pesach food is an expense. Between Matzah and wine, depending on the size of your family, you've already been set back a significant amount of money.
I am not G-d forbid implying that this is a burden. Can you think of a better way to spend the money that G-d has given you than on a mitzvah?
I'll take what I can get, and am satisfied with the current war on price gauging -- that is, if it successful. Yet, I would like to know what took so long for people to step up to the plate, and say "no more"?!
Clearly, the fact that our economy is in shambles is what motivated people to finally take a stand.
But why not until now? !
Purim 2009
This year, my brother said he might be going to a different shul to hear megillah. One that is considered modern orthodox, rather than the, well, they call-themselves-yeshivish one my parents usually go to.
I was enthusiastic about joining him, even though we weren't sitting together.
I walked into the women's section, and thought, "Great. I can handle this." I didn't know anyone there, but I imagined they'd be pretty friendly. Three teenagers approached me and asked if the seats next to me were taken. They in fact weren't. The girls requested that I, and the woman seated next to me, moved down one. "Thank you," they replied. "Sure," I said, thinking they'd initiate conversation.
"Ohhmiiiiigoooooooodddddd!!!!!!!" One immediately shrieked. Her friend was directly behind her, and they all suddenly had, "like, the funniest, like, story," to tell.
These girls were dressed pretty much how I would dress. Casually. Denim skirt. Ugg boots. Although I wore a long black skirt, and my "Ugg"s are $50 Skechers, I knew people weren't looking me up and down, analyzing my clothing to pieces. I was dressed pretty much on their caliber.
Megillah finally started, and they were quiet. Till the middle of Perek Alef. "Omigod, like, how much do we have left?" one said, between smacks of gum. "Where are we up to?" Another barely whispered. "Look - he's so cute!" One began. Another was TXTing. This was a constant conversation - as if they were in a pizza shop.
I thought back to a teacher in high school who told us she went to hear Megillas Esther 4 times because she wasn't yotzei. Sorry, I'm not on her madrega.
My mind raced. I fought to keep up; concentrating on the meaning of the words was out of the question. What was really going through my mind was, "did I catch that word?" and "how can I tell these girls off without having them call me a bitch the minute I turn around?"
Besides, I couldn't talk during megillah anyway.
That was Purim night.
Rewind a year. I walked into my parents shul, and remembered I was supposed to have dressed up. No, not in costume.
Fancy I mean. What I wore all day would not suffice for this crowd.
I wasn't in a stained denim skirt or anything. I was casual. Probably the same black skirt, knit sweater.
And I was completely ignored - well, other than the up-down-and-away looks I received upon entry. You couldn't
pay those girls to be seen with me.
I had completely forgotten that in that shul, young women must always have their hair perfectly styled. Blown dry to perfection; not a strand out of place. A ponytail? Not if you're over the age of 8. Fresh make-up must also be applied before attending megillah. (Not the case in the MO shul)
So, I begin to wonder: Are my only options people who dress like me, but talk during megillah, or people who dress to kill, and judge me by my clothes, but remain silent?
Like Big Bro #2 always says, "Death of the in-betweeners," right?
(I already discussed the issue of kids in another post, so I didn't bother here. That'd be repetitive.)
